Dear Bitch,
I never thought I would be saying this, but my dog is driving me crazy. Look, I got this
whole social distancing thing down –turns out I’ve been doing it for years, completely
unaware– but now I’m stuck at home everyday trying to work and my dog has turned into
a real level five clinger! I mean, I wake up in the morning, and there she is. I sit down to
eat breakfast, I glance down and there she is at my feet waiting to place an order. How
am I supposed to be a contributing member of socially isolated society, when this dog
wants in on all my Zoom calls?! I gotta shake this pooch. Send help!



Dear Writer,

It’s true, dogs just don’t understand social distancing. But stay the course because society will benefit and appreciate your efforts. Together, we’ll get through this, you and your dog included! If you’re a long-time reader of this column, you know I beat the drum for exercising your doggos. A tired dog is a quiet dog, and in a work from home world, wouldn’t you rather your gal snoring logs at your feet to a major case of the zoomies come Zoom time?! Everyone is discovering the new routines of daily life right now, I encourage you to make sure quality time with your pet is part of that discovery. Find time between breakfast and your first meeting to go for a 20 minute walk every day. Or try a little frozen peanut butter in a Kong bone as a treat before your big meeting starts. Most importantly, count your blessings to have such a committed companion in your life. Imagine what an incredible treat this is for your dog to have the center of their universe home with them all day, every day.

Be safe. Wash your hands. Don’t touch your face. Spay and Neuter your pets.

-The Bitch

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